Old Flames & New

The night we met I showed him my stretch marks. He called them flames.

Ten years later, candles burn in our bedroom as he strokes my belly and kisses the new flames our children etched into my skin.

No Resolutions Here

In late November and early December I started making plans – thinking about the things I would do after the holidays and in the upcoming year. Switch my blog from a blogspot to something more like a “real” website, finish the steps to actually launch my Celebrancy business, apply to the numerous freelance jobs I keep finding, and so on and so forth. I couldn’t start any of these endeavors immediately because I knew I would be abandoning my computer while in Utah to visit family. As such, it was convenient to imagine a post-holiday Liz who would be well rested and motivated.

I have an amazing imagination.

Since getting back home, I have wanted to write and simultaneously not wanted to write. I haven’t had anything good to say because I have been so exhausted that everything, the good and funny stuff included, has been experienced through a sour disposition. Even the best coffee tastes like crap if you’re sipping it into a mouth full of piss and vinegar. So I’ve kept my mouth shut.

I had expected to come back to real life, take a couple of days to adjust, and then regale you with my stories of air travel with twin toddlers. But we've all been sick, are still sick or getting sick again and just thinking about the plane rides makes me tired. I will tell you this: there was a hasty diaper change that occurred while taxiing to the runway involving a escaped poop pancake. I didn’t get caught & I covered everything in hand sanitizer, so I consider it a win. That’s really all I have to say about traveling. Maybe after more sleep I’ll write more. Maybe I’ll never have anything further to say about it. Feel free to place your bets with your favorite bookie.

Now I’m home and the year has ended. Goodbye 2014. Those dreams and aspirations I had prior to vacation feel a lot like New Year’s resolutions. I hate New Year’s resolutions, largely because they often result in a bunch of people refusing to eat cake or drink on my birthday. Early January birthdays can be a bitch that way. Even so, it’s time for a change.

I need to distill those previously mentioned goals into the desires behind them. Strip them of their self-important resolution-ish-ness and see what’s left.

~I want to write more often – not just blogs, but stories and ceremonies too.

~I want to contribute to our income.

~I want to do more stuff that has nothing to do with my offspring.

~I want to have more time with My Love.

That’s it. My focus and time has been filled with the kidlets for almost a year and half – more if you include the time spent pregnant and preparing. It’s time to pull back and expand the frame of my life again. That’s really all I want & put that way, it doesn’t even sound like a resolution.